Really wanted to cry and eat a block of chocolate today but I didn’t

Today was one of the biggest test for me In a long time.iwanted to go and hide in a corner and cry and eat a block of chocolate but I didn’t.

Today I was at woolworths buying some stuff had this little old Asian man come up to me while I was looking for some recess for my daughter and school and said well if you didn’t eat that then maybe your stomach wouldn’t be so big,I so wanted to run away and cry .

My reply to this little old man was thanks for your advise and not that it’s any of your business this is recess for my daughter and I have lost 88 kg and most of my stomach is loose skin now.While I’m at it if I was a rude person I could  say why are you such a rude and ignorant old man who thinks it’s business to pass judgement on someone he doesn’t know,but guess what I’m not and walked off.

i wanted to hit the chocolate big time I walked out of woolies with nothing 😦

I tried ringing a few people they were busy ,so I went home and used my bad mood productively cleaned my house from top to bottom.

I know I have a long way and I still have a way to go before I can get my tummy tuck done, it’s just made me even more self conscious about my stomach and the loose skin I have.i am just sitting here still angry at how one person who I don’t know can be so bloody nasty.
Anyone it’s just given me more motivation to loose these last 14 kg and best of all I resisted the chocolate.

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Day Two and three

Day two I started off interesting woke up feeling like a bus had hit me. I love summer flu’s not. Panadol worked well yeah good old panadol.
Studied for uni and did the usual dreaded house work until I went to work.
Came home last night and did the intermediate program and did the weights after that from the lean and strong program. I’m enjoying the weights a lot this round.
Eating I did really well yesterday drank 2.5 litres of water stuck the program.

Thought I would never be happy to have DOMS but this morning arms legs and stomach are hurting yeahh me must be working hard 🙂
Wait there is more last round I lost 4.2 kg usually only 200g a week .

First week I lost 500 g even with not so great eating over the weekend 🙂 yeah me .
Good luck everyone how did you go this week hope it was good. Time to go work these sore muscles .

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Day one

Well today was the nightmare of all starts someone set an alarm in our kitchen it went off at 1:30 am ,I couldn’t go back to sleep 4 am I nodded back off to sleep slept through my early morning alarm and missed my work out. Woke up 10 minutes before I had to go to my frienfun mums funeral.

As I result breakfast got eaten fast but at least was healthy,after the funeral I dashed home took lunch to work and yes I was a good girl ate lunch and dinner as per the menu thanks to my well planned husband who cooked dinner for me the night before.
When i finished work tonight I s tired to say the least but i thought to my self I can have a fail on day one with exercise or I can get out there and Jfdi.Guess what I did it 🙂 I did the cardio for Intermediate and did the weights for lean and strong and boy did it hurt but tonight I did interval running did 1 minute of walking one minute of running i got up as high as 10 which for me I felt like I was going to die.
I did 200 skips with two feet yeah might have been slow but I did it 🙂

Today I drank 3 litres of water and burnt 550 calories.

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End of round finale.:)

last night I stepped out of my comfort zone I went to the hairdressers and got a very girlie hair style, I went with a knee high dress instead of a long dress I am normally used to .

To say the least I was nervous about going this girlie, I felt like turning around and going home when I got into the when got into the lift and two girls who were going to Coldplay concert gave made me feel like I was back in high school again.
Then I went no I’m not going to let these little barbie dolls make me feel worthless.I came over with my amazingly supportive husband and waited and finally I saw someone I knew yeah for Meradeth sorry if I spelt your name wrong 🙂 you were a gem thank you her first comment was how she loved my hair anxiety started to go away a bit.
One of the highlights of my nights was one Leanne,Marion,Teresa,Kristi,Shirley,Kyleanne amd Kathy rocked up and they didn’t recognise me being so girlie it made me smile.
So a very big thank you to an amazing bunch of ladies you amazing ladies and I have been lucky to meet each one of you. 🙂
I got to Ros and Amy,Michelle Leonie and the rest of the lovely Sydney crew.i even meet three lovely ladies from way out west in young and Wagga Wagga they were lovely.
I have to say my highlight was when Michelle was walking around the crowd and I got to talk to her lovely husband Billy again he recognised me from the Brisbane finale when Apple dragged him over to chat to us.

So bring on this round.

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My Dad

For the past 21 years my dad has suffered from a very cruel and has disease, Parkinson’s disease.

I have watched the man go from driving a truck for a living to now struggling to even feed him self and being stuck in a wheel chair most of the time. Over the last six months I have seen him go down hill at an increasing rate he has drop a great deal of weight.

Tonight I came the reality that my dad is on borrowed time  when I had to take him to the hospital  with my mum. He has begun hallucinating and  is having trouble eating due to the muscles in his neck freezing up and his neck being hunched over now. The doctors are trying to help him but we were told that they think its the Parkinson’s advancing  rapidly .

There is so much I want to say to him but I can’t because he is scared enough and frustrated enough. So tonight I thought the best way of saying it is in a letter. So excuse my long winded blog but I  had to get what I was thinking  down somewhere .

Dear Dad,

You have since I remember worked so hard to give Belinda and I what ever we wanted and needed you worked ridiculously long hours driving trucks for years. You continued to drive trucks to keep you family going long after your Parkinson’s  advanced. I just wanted to say thank you for your hard work and for giving us what ever we wanted.

The best memory I have was the day you Walked me down the aisle when I got married you  were so happy that day even though you were struggling to walk down aisle with the tremors. You told me how proud you were of me that day and how much you loved me.

You have battled on and have fought a hard and very stubborn fight you have been an amazing father and grandfather to my kids and  for that I cannot thank you enough,but tonight I realised how frail and how that I now have you on borrowed time when I saw you laying in that ct scanner.

thanks for being my dad and I love you for it.

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Party time

PinkAfter a horrible week  and not wanting to leave the house let alone go out ,thanks to some wonderful ladies i went out had an amazing  night out. My day started off by being picked up in a pink hummer yeah 🙂 We travelled into the star had  a great view of the city and its harbour. We went to china town and enjoyed a dinner there and danced till my feet were going to fall off. I loved it a few times i had to take a break from the dance floor as i was getting anxious when the dance floor got really busy. I got over it and thanks to Leanne, Patricia,Lande and Sab i had a great night out. Time to work extra hard to work off what I drank that weekend 🙂Image

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Thanks to my amazing 12wbt friends today

Yesterday I realised I’m not as tough as I thought, I was walking to work from my car and a coward mugged me for my bag – when I didn’t let go of it fast enough I coped a punch in the face. Tonight I decided to put how I feel into my blog. I’m usually a strong willed person and don’t let things scare me. Last night I couldn’t sleep as a result I was anxious.

A big thanks to Teresa, Leanne, Kyleanne, Carol and especially Kathy for those beautiful flowers today. It made me realise sometimes you need to lean on people and I’m not as tough as I thought.

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